Jack Crichton's Journal
by tiberius1
Summary: We have seen so little of Jack Crichton. We know a fair bit about how John reacted to being back on Earth. How did Jack react to having his son back, but as a changed man?


Journal - Col. Jack Crichton, USAF (Ret.)  
  
A/N: Takes place immediately preceding and during Terra Firma. Sometimes the asterisks denote changes in days. They generally go along with different scenes in the episode. Rating: PG Disclaimer: Farscape isn't mine, just borrowing from the fine folks at Henson.  
  
I have long suspected that John did not die when the Farscape project went awry. Today my suspicions were confirmed. Six weeks ago a mysterious ship appeared in orbit. It took us quite some time to establish comms. We were informed that John had been onboard that ship and was expected to return. The United States decided to send a shuttle up with a delegation to make first contact and wait for John to return.  
  
******************  
  
We have been onboard Moya for about six hours now. How do you describe a living ship? Moya is far larger than an aircraft carrier. It's hard to believe that she is alive. There is one alien onboard. Actually there are two. I had forgotten about the one called Pilot. He is joined to Moya and helps control her systems. He is very large, purple, has for arms and is best described as a crustacean. He has been quite helpful in answering our questions though sometimes I get the impression he is annoyed by us. He has yet to say anything yet.  
  
The other alien, Sikozu, appears more like one of us. She has red hair, bright blue-green eyes and pale skin that has the faint appearance of being covered with scales. We were quite surprised to find that she spoke English. In order to understand Pilot we were injected with something called translator microbes. We have been told that with them we will be able to understand other languages. Truly remarkable technology. We are nothing more than children in the Universe.  
  
*******************  
  
It took two days for John and the others to return. I knew he had changed when he drew a gun on me and began questioning me about personal information. His eyes were also much harder. I longed to ask him what he had seen and what he had done, but I know that I will have to wait until he is ready.  
  
*******************  
  
John has been down on Earth for a little over a week. He has tried to make everything seem like normal. Sometimes I think both of us are trying a little too hard. Perhaps too much has happened to change us both. In our attempt to make things normal, or to hide our feelings, we are putting up Christmas decorations. There are so many happy memories. Its times like this when I realize how much I truly missed him. He invited Aeryn over and we tried very hard to act like a nice typical, happy American family. It's hard for me to remember that Aeryn is an alien. She looks so much like a human.  
  
I can tell that he and the others are tired of all the tests and questions. I can't blame them. I wish I could stop them, but I don't have that kind of authority. The government has secured a nice house near the Cape for their use. They are also being allowed limited access to our society. I have been pleasantly surprised by the amount of acceptance they have been shown. I think perhaps it is because there are so few of them. If there were more, people would be more concerned. If they knew what I did about the backgrounds and technology of these Aliens they might be more afraid.  
  
Aeryn Sun appears human but she is actually Sebacean. Her physiology is different and we are told that Sebaceans or stronger and longer lived. She comes from a militaristic society called the Peacekeepers. She was raised to be a soldier though, she has adjusted to a life out side her military training. I can tell that John cares deeply for her, but there has been a great deal of pain. He still won't confide everything to me. I wish he would. I can tell there is much he would like to talk about.  
  
Ka D'Argo is a Luxan. He's quite a bit taller than humans and is very difficult to describe. He has tentacles on his head and face, but not like an octopus. He too comes from a warrior civilization though he has demonstrated that he is interested in a peaceful way of life. His ship is almost as remarkable as Moya. It is small enough that he flew it down to the Cape where are scientists are studying it. I doubt they will learn very much about it. I get the impression that even D'Argo does not know the full capabilities of it.  
  
Chiana is a Nebari. She appears human with the exception of having gray skin and white hair. I get the impression that she is very young and has led a tough life. She has reverted to an almost childlike state in the safety of Earth. She seems to live for the moment and does not think too much about the future. She told little about her people.  
  
Noranti is an old woman who is very mystic. There are times that she makes perfect sense and others that she talks in riddles. She is also a healer and has shown a great interest in our herbs and medicine. Her oddest feature is that she has a third eye. She has not revealed to us what its purpose is since it is clear it does not see.  
  
Rygel the XVI is the deposed Hynerian Dominar. He is just as alien as Pilot. He is a little less than two feet tall, green and had a froglike face. He rides on a throne sled that hovers above the ground instead of walking. He talks a lot about what he will do when he regains his throne. I have learned from the others that he has been deposed for over one hundred years. I have also learned that most other species are longer lived than humans.  
  
It is quite an interesting group. I wonder how such a diverse group ended up traveling together. They have not revealed how they came to be together.  
  
***************  
  
Today I saw an amazing sight. John took me back up to Moya. The amazing part was on the return. He had Aeryn take me on a Prowler flight. We flew out to Saturn. It's even more beautiful than any picture. Pictures cannot do it justice.  
  
I also had an opportunity to speak with Aeryn. She is a remarkable woman. I know that she and John have been close, but right now there relationship is strained. I think she is a good match for him. I only hope they can find a way to work out their difficulties.  
  
***************  
  
John isn't happy about this, but I believe any scientific delegation sent on Moya should be purely American. Normally this would have been an international operation, but so much has changed since September 11th. We must hold on to our technology. We can't afford to give our enemy an advantage. It has become so difficult to tell who your enemy is. I'm sure John wouldn't understand. He wasn't here. He doesn't understand what it was like. Even now he is still kept somewhat insulated. We try not to talk about it. It is a polarizing issue.  
  
**************  
  
Today we were attacked in my home. I was taken by surprise not only by the attack, but by John's reaction. He acted as if this was nothing out of the ordinary. I find I no longer know who my son is. He has changed so much in the last three and a half years. I now know how people feel when they have a loved one return from war changed. He has told me a little of what he has seen, but I know he only tells me the good. I have gotten hints from Aeryn and the others about the dangers they have faced. I think he doesn't tell me because he doesn't want me to worry. How can I not worry? He is my son.  
  
Between John's arguments and the callousness of the politicians I have come to a decision that perhaps John's way of dealing with the scientists is the best. I somehow doubt there will be a consensus before Moya departs. I think the attack as caused him to rush his decision to leave.  
  
I can tell that he isn't happy and that he feels he has something left to accomplish. I don't know if he'll return. I suspect that if he does, it will only be for a visit. I don't think he sees Earth as his home anymore. At least this time I will have the chance to say goodbye.  
  
Not only were we attacked, but I have just learned the DK and his wife were killed, presumably by the same creature that attacked us. To me it is as if I have lost a son. DK and John had been best friends so long he had become part of the family. John was not affected as much by DK's murder as I would have thought. I know they have not been particularly close since John returned. I have tried to figure out why, but I couldn't. Perhaps DK was more affected by the changes in John's personality than I was. I have not talked to John about his lack of reaction to DK's death. I don't know that I will be able to. The pain is too fresh for me and I don't want to risk alienating John.  
  
****************  
  
As I suspected, John has told me he is leaving. I knew it was coming, but I was still unprepared for it. I wish he could have stayed through Christmas, but I have found that life is not always fair. Ever since he entered IASA I knew there was a chance he wouldn't return from a mission. This is a risk I have long accepted. Now, he might be killed and I would never know it. That is a hard thing to deal with. I don't know whether I should live my life believing he is alive or not. It was very hard for me the last time. I had assumed he was dead, but a small part of me held out hope that he was still alive.  
  
He explained the risk wormhole presents to Earth. I know our scientists want to study it, but we must be prepared to destroy it. John was not concerned about the data we took from the alien technology. He says it will take several lifetimes for us to work it out. I'm no scientist, but I'm inclined to agree. Their technology is far superior. Our scientists can't even identify some of the metals used. I know that DK was completely baffled by the propulsion system John had installed on the module.  
  
I still wish that we could have sent the scientists to space. John didn't know it, but I would have come as the project head. Even if he never returns, I will treasure those few trips into space I made to Moya. I had never thought I would return to space. I am now the only human on Earth who has seen the rings of Saturn. I hope I can see him again.  
  
*****************  
  
This evening I received one of the most difficult phone calls I have ever had. It was John. He was on the moon at Serenity Base, walking in my footsteps. He told me that he had to close the wormhole to prevent an alien invasion.  
  
It's still hard for me to accept this. With the wormhole gone, I will never see my son again. I knew that when we said good bye on Earth, it might be the last time I saw him, but I always thought I could hold out hope of seeing him again.  
  
We didn't have long to talk, but he sounded like he had accepted his fate. I hope that he is able to find happiness. That is one thing he deserves in life. At Serenity base he left us information that may help us unlock some of the technology we studied while they were on Earth. We both know that it won't happen in our lifetimes.  
  
I suppose that I'm glad he was able to call me and tell me what he was doing. It's a shame. We had finally assembled all the scientists. Moya's visit was able to pull humanity together like no other event. I only hope that the knowledge the trip to deep space has been cancelled will not splinter us. It would be a shame to ruin all the work we had done. 


End file.
